A new yet familiar season...

This morning, after an emotional melt down last night, I was reminded of Hosea 6:1-3 which is going to be a point of focus for me over the next little while.    “Come, let us return to the Lord.  For He has torn us, and He will heal us; He has wounded us, and He will bind up our wounds.  He will revive us after two days,  and on the third day He will raise us up so we can live in His presence.  LET US STRIVE TO KNOW THE LORD. His appearance is as sure as the dawn. He will come to us like the rain, like the spring showers that water the land.”  (Hosea 6:1-3)  This is my goal...that I may strive to know the Lord and allow Him to have His way in me each and every day!

 

A month into the new year, I began experiencing intermittent pain in various joints.  By March, I was having low-level, constant pain in both shoulders as well as intermittent pain in my knees, ankles, wrists and occasionally my hips.  I started on pain meds, did some physical therapy for an issue with my neck I was also having and had a couple appointments with a rheumatologist in Kansas City.  By mid-May, my pain level increased to a point that I could no longer continue working and it was getting more and more difficult to live on my own.  At the beginning of June, I made the decision to move back to Texas where my family would be better able to help me out and flew my mom up the last weekend in June to pack up the car and make the drive home with me.  We arrived early on July 1^st and I enjoyed some time with my family before returning to Kansas City for a couple weeks with my friends and a follow up visit with my doctor.  In the last two weeks that I’ve been home, I’ve had many appointments with various specialists.  The rheumatologist in Kansas City felt there was enough history to say that I have an auto-immune disease though it could not be categorized any further than that.  However, the rheumatologist here is running some additional tests looking into possible blood clotting disorders that would not be considered auto-immune.  My general orthopedic that did my previous surgeries referred me to different specialists.  Though, I am having pain in my shoulders, the bone is still intact and has not begun to collapse so the shoulder specialist does not recommend surgery at this time.  However, the next step for me if the pain increases and/or continues longer than I can handle will be a partial replacement where he would remove the dead bone and put a cap on it which he compared to a crown on a tooth.  But we agreed that we are not ready for that step at this point so will continue to manage the pain with medication as best we can.  Because I have spinal stenosis and bulging discs in my neck, I was also sent to see a spinal surgeon who also agreed that surgery is not the best option for me at this point.  I have just received new meds from both of these specialists this week that will hopefully help with my pain management.  I would appreciate your prayers for my health as I struggle with some of these issues again. 

 

 

I spent nearly 2 years in Kansas City which did not look like I expected it to look, but was good nonetheless!  I am finding it difficult to put into words all that has come from my time in Kansas City, and realize I do not fully understand it all myself, but I am very thankful for that season of my life though it was not an easy one.  I developed some incredible friendships with people that will be a part of my life for many years to come, even though we have gone our separate ways at this point.  My heart for worship was stirred and I spent the last few weeks taking piano lessons from a great teacher who taught me so much in a short period of time.  As I master all that she introduced me to, I hope to start lessons with someone here to move forward in my ability to worship the Lord.  I don’t know what all the next year holds or will look like, but I am hopeful and expectant as I settle into yet another new season.  Though familiar in many ways, it is not the same and I trust that the Lord has a purpose and plan in all that I am going through and has a good plan for my life (Jer. 29:11).  Part of that plan, I believe, is returning to India next summer to begin spending extended time on the mission field each year with half the year at home.  While in the States, I will spend time with family and friends as well as be involved in short term missions in some way.  Again, I don’t know exactly what that will look like, but seems to be the direction I’m heading at this point. 

The beauty of God displayed

 

Shout to the Lord all the earth, let us sing!  Power!  Majesty!  Praise to the King! 

 Mountains bow down and the seas will roar at the sound of Your name!

 I sing for joy at the work of Your hands!  Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand!

  Nothing compares to the promise I have in You!!!

 

 

To walk in the cool of the day with You!  To gaze on the beauty of all You do!

To meditate on Your glorious splendor!  I WAS MADE FOR YOU!!!

Perspective of time

June 12, 2011 was Pentecost Sunday, just a week before my birthday, and I spent most of the day alone in the prayer room asking God for something special for my birthday that year.  Two days later, in a lot of ways, my life as I knew it fell apart and I was left with a lot of unanswered questions and some painful woundings.  I can see now as I look back that God had been preparing me in a lot of ways, but at the same time I was still completely blindsided that night.

As I stumbled into this new season, God was kind in dealing with my heart as I processed through all that had changed in a single meeting.  At a time when confidence in my ability to hear the Lord was shaken, He faithfully led me and continued to speak to my heart the truth of who He is and who He has made me to be.  Through time in the prayer room as well as very timely teaching in classes, He began to counter the things I was feeling with the truth of His love and faithfulness.

Two years ago, I spent June 12 mostly crying alone in the prayer room, but this year, I enjoyed a day in Chicago with some dear friends and we began discussing my return to India.  Two years ago, my birthday was clouded with sorrow and loss feeling like I’d been disowned and discarded by those I love and was close to, but this year, my birthday will be spent with some incredible ladies that have become close friends and sisters through my time in Kansas City!  On this day two years, ago, my dreams and plans for the future seemed to have slipped through my fingers and I had no clarity looking forward!  But today, the Lord has provided funds for me to pay off my debts and I am taking steps to begin living out my dream of serving the Lord in missions!!!  Two years ago today, it seemed my life as I knew it was shattered!  But today, I feel my life is beginning anew with focus and purpose!!!

Mom time!!!!

I successfully surprised my mom by going home for Mother's Day weekend.  And we had a great time!  Our family spent the day at the Cameron Park Zoo in Waco.  Dinner was followed by some fun at the local karaoke place we all enjoyed.  My sister and I took mom to breakfast and then all got pedicures before meeting my brother, sister-in-law and nephew for lunch on Sunday.  With only a short time at home, I spent the afternoon with my brother's family as we took my nephew to the library and splashed in the fountain area downtown before walking a few blocks to get snow cones.  They dropped me off for a quick visit with my cousin's family which was short but sweet.  After a bit, my mom and sister picked me up for a grocery store run where we got some junk and a movie to finish off my time in town.  It was such a great weekend!!!!

This past weekend, I flew mom up to Kansas City and we had a great weekend together.  We spent quite a bit of time on Saturday at the zoo and then went to the Botanical Gardens on Sunday.  We made the most of our time together and had such a blast!  It was nice to just be together for a bit!!!

 

 

 



Looking back!

It's been a while since I've posted anything though I've thought about it many times.  I don't really have anything profound to post, but as the year comes to a close and a new one is about to begin, I've decided to summarize my year. 

 

After withdrawing from school in January, I was able to spend 2 weeks with my family at home before starting work at a hospital in the Kansas City area.  I was able to get time off for a quick trip home to surprise my mom for Mother's Day which was a huge success!  I returned home again for a few weeks in the summer to celebrate some family birthdays including my nephew's 2nd on the 4th of July which was a blast!!!  Time at home is always so good but always goes by way too fast!!!!!  I am enjoying my time back in Texas to celebrate Christmas with my family! 

In March, I made the move to Missouri official by changing my address, getting new tags on the car and a new driver's license.  I also started the process of joining the International House of Prayer (IHOP-KC) as part-time staff.  For several months, I enjoyed serving with Exodus Cry (www.exoduscry.com - a prayer movement to end human slavery) and Hannah's Dream Adoptions (a wonderful agency that closed in August).  I kept a busy schedule which was a bit of an escape from the wrestling in my heart over why I was in Kansas City when I wasn't continuing as a student.  In time, as I kept sensing that this is to be a time of preparation and training, I finally realized that receiving training does not necessitate being a "student".  I decided to start auditing classes at IHOPU and switched from part-time to prayer room staff at IHOP-KC in August.  Over the summer, I had the opportunity to take some voice lessons and hope to resume music lessons in January, planning to take both voice and piano. It was really good to be back in the classroom this fall and I hope to take a couple more classes in the spring! I was able to take "Life of David", "Paul and His Epistles", "Song of Songs" and a class on the Book of Isaiah which were all SO good.  I also volunteered to transcribe some of the class sessions for a leader at IHOPU which gives me access to additional teachings that I am enjoying. I'm trying to absorb as much as I can of the Word through personal study, classes and time in the prayer room.

 

I have enjoyed returning to work at a hospital and picked up a lot of extra shifts whenever I could as I hoped for a full-time position to open up.  After waiting several months, I finally decided to find another part-time position for an increase in income.  I started working at a Once Upon A Child store (resales gently used kids clothes and stuff) nearby when it opened in October which was a pretty fun job with some really great people!  One week after starting, I was offered a full-time position at the hospital so I gave my notice at the store but didn't want to leave them hanging so agreed to stay on for a while working weekends to help out.  I began to transition to working 1 full-time job being able to enjoy weekends off just before heading home for 3 weeks.  It is amazing to me how fast this year has flown by, but I look forward to what lies ahead in the New Year!!!

The Littles

These are the littles that hold my heart back home - Batman joined our family when he was 8 months old and has been such a source of joy ever since!!!  He was followed a few months later by his sister, our very first (and for the moment, only) little Princess!  She arrived just 3 days old and so tiny, but she has been a beautiful little firecracker from the start!!!  Mr. Happy was the next to become one of ours, joining us the week of Thanksgiving at just a couple months old.  I love hearing him call my name and wanting me to "look...watch...see"!!!  And then there's Little Man, who made his debut in the wee hours of the morning on the 4th of July almost 2 years ago!  Hearing his voice and/or seeing his smile melts my heart every time!!!!    

It's hard to believe that it's been 5 years since we had our first baby added to the family.  We've been blessed with 4 of the cutest sweethearts in the world (not that I'm biased or anything)!!!  No matter what is going on in my life, these faces will brighten my day every time!!!  Love them each SO much!!!!!

Change of plans...AGAIN!!!

School started this week and it seems like it would have been a challenging semester.  However, I had to withdraw today so it's not going to be the kind of challenge I'd expected.  I believe I am supposed to be in Kansas City, but not sure why if I'm not in school!  I was blessed with a really good part-time job that starts in a couple weeks that will allow me to continue to be in the prayer room, but I still feel puzzled by this turn of events.  Another thing to be thankful for tonight is the unexpected gift of a plane ticket!  Someone paid my way home to spend the next couple weeks with my family before I start my new job!!!