Perspective of time

June 12, 2011 was Pentecost Sunday, just a week before my birthday, and I spent most of the day alone in the prayer room asking God for something special for my birthday that year.  Two days later, in a lot of ways, my life as I knew it fell apart and I was left with a lot of unanswered questions and some painful woundings.  I can see now as I look back that God had been preparing me in a lot of ways, but at the same time I was still completely blindsided that night.

As I stumbled into this new season, God was kind in dealing with my heart as I processed through all that had changed in a single meeting.  At a time when confidence in my ability to hear the Lord was shaken, He faithfully led me and continued to speak to my heart the truth of who He is and who He has made me to be.  Through time in the prayer room as well as very timely teaching in classes, He began to counter the things I was feeling with the truth of His love and faithfulness.

Two years ago, I spent June 12 mostly crying alone in the prayer room, but this year, I enjoyed a day in Chicago with some dear friends and we began discussing my return to India.  Two years ago, my birthday was clouded with sorrow and loss feeling like I’d been disowned and discarded by those I love and was close to, but this year, my birthday will be spent with some incredible ladies that have become close friends and sisters through my time in Kansas City!  On this day two years, ago, my dreams and plans for the future seemed to have slipped through my fingers and I had no clarity looking forward!  But today, the Lord has provided funds for me to pay off my debts and I am taking steps to begin living out my dream of serving the Lord in missions!!!  Two years ago today, it seemed my life as I knew it was shattered!  But today, I feel my life is beginning anew with focus and purpose!!!