In the prayer room 5 months ago, I got a picture of the way I have lived my life. When you walk normally, you take a step, lift your back foot and let your leg swing forward for the next step. But I seem to walk through life one step at a time. I tend to anchor my back foot until I can see where the next step is to land. I felt like God was telling me I need to follow through on each step, allowing my leg to swing forward even though I may not see where it is supposed to end up. I was reminded of this picture in January when I found myself stuck yet again after the trip to India was cancelled. I froze in place instead of continuing to move forward! I realized He was calling me to trust Him to direct my steps in the forward motion instead of getting stuck waiting for the next move to be made clear! So I tried to move forward again, continuing to do what I had been doing as I waited for the plans on my next India trip to be finalized. Then two weeks ago, the nudging began as I was offered a new opportunity. My initial response was resistance to this because I was focused on India. But God showed me that in trusting Him to direct me as I continued to move forward, I had to allow Him to redirect me as I go. I had not asked if I was supposed to go to India later this year to stay several months, I just assumed I was and began planning on it. As I prayed through this new opportunity as well my return to India, I began to realize that this was the course correction He was preparing me for through this picture of walking. Therefore, I accepted the offer to officially work for Jubilee World Missions. I have been providing administrative support to this ministry for several years on a volunteer basis, but am coming on board in a more permanent and defined role. I am excited about what God has in store for me as I follow Him to continue to serve this missions ministry!
We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9
I heard the above lyrics during a particularly difficult time in one of my relationships where I realized I had pulled my heart away in an effort to protect myself. The picture this song painted of Jesus as love's definition showed me that I had to stop withdrawing when I was hurt. Instead, I have to forgive quickly and stay open and vulnerable. I haven't figured out how to do this yet, but I believe staying focused on His open heart towards me is the first step to living a transparent life! The idea scares me, but I really want to be like Jesus and He lived a selflessly vulnerable life!!! 
