Definition of love

"What does love look like is the question I've been pondering?  What does love look like?  What does love look like is the question I've been asking of You?...He had arms wide open, a heart exposed."  - Misty Edwards

I heard the above lyrics during a particularly difficult time in one of my relationships where I realized I had pulled my heart away in an effort to protect myself.  The picture this song painted of Jesus as love's definition showed me that I had to stop withdrawing when I was hurt.  Instead, I have to forgive quickly and stay open and vulnerable.  I haven't figured out how to do this yet, but I believe staying focused on His open heart towards me is the first step to living a transparent life!  The idea scares me, but I really want to be like Jesus and He lived a selflessly vulnerable life!!! 

"Just knowing that You love me is enough to keep me here!  Just hearing those words is enough to satisfy!  Won't You let me love You more?  This is all that I desire!!!" - Misty Edwards

Redirection

In the prayer room 5 months ago, I got a picture of the way I have lived my life. When you walk normally, you take a step, lift your back foot and let your leg swing forward for the next step. But I seem to walk through life one step at a time. I tend to anchor my back foot until I can see where the next step is to land. I felt like God was telling me I need to follow through on each step, allowing my leg to swing forward even though I may not see where it is supposed to end up. I was reminded of this picture in January when I found myself stuck yet again after the trip to India was cancelled. I froze in place instead of continuing to move forward! I realized He was calling me to trust Him to direct my steps in the forward motion instead of getting stuck waiting for the next move to be made clear! So I tried to move forward again, continuing to do what I had been doing as I waited for the plans on my next India trip to be finalized. Then two weeks ago, the nudging began as I was offered a new opportunity. My initial response was resistance to this because I was focused on India. But God showed me that in trusting Him to direct me as I continued to move forward, I had to allow Him to redirect me as I go. I had not asked if I was supposed to go to India later this year to stay several months, I just assumed I was and began planning on it. As I prayed through this new opportunity as well my return to India, I began to realize that this was the course correction He was preparing me for through this picture of walking. Therefore, I accepted the offer to officially work for Jubilee World Missions. I have been providing administrative support to this ministry for several years on a volunteer basis, but am coming on board in a more permanent and defined role. I am excited about what God has in store for me as I follow Him to continue to serve this missions ministry! We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9

Spring

Spring has arrived and I have been enjoying it!  I went to visit friends in the country during Spring Break and loved the incredible display of flowers in the open fields all around.  This weekend, I got to go to the Wildflower Center with my family which was a lot of fun.  Most of the ladies in our family went to a little town this weekend for an antique show and it was a beautiful drive down there with the flowers along the side of the road!  Here are some of my favorite pictures from this beautiful season!!!

Sutherland Springs, TX

March 17, 2010

From the Wildflower Center

Friday, April 2, 2010

Round Top, TX

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Significance

I've heard a lot about how you need to do everything for the Lord, to bring Him honor and glory, but somewhere in my thinking, I still believed that there were some tasks/jobs that were more honorable and glorified.  In the Supernatural Ways of Royalty, the author tells a story of teaching a class where he is talking about finding the greatness in people.  A challenge was issued that it is God who is great which should be our focus instead of looking for greatness in people.  The example he used in response really changed the way I think.  He said there was a painting hanging on the wall that he told the one questioning him to imagine he had painted.  The author then proceeded to yell about how bad the painting was.  When he had finished his outburst against the painting, he turned back to the man and asked him if what had just been spoken about the painting would have honored and glorified him as the painter.  When the guy said no, the response given was that God is like the painter in our lives and demeaning/degrading ourselves or others does not honor or glorify Him.  Humility is not about putting ourselves down, but seeing ourselves as God sees us.  Recognizing that there is greatness in us because God Himself has made us great!  This made me realize that there are not activities that are more significant than others.  No matter if I am picking up trash, completing paperwork, or teaching in another country, the significance comes from the fact that I do it as one created by God in order to love and serve Him.  If my heart is right, everything I do is significant as it honors and glorifies the Lord.  Even if no one sees it!  Even if others consider it to be unimportant.  Galatians 5:6 The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love!!!

The Waiting Room

"He who began a good work will be faithful to complete it...You will complete it...I’m here in the waiting room, here in the waiting room, I’m here in the waiting room of unanswered prayer! Prayer, prayer, prayer’s all I’ve got here! Time, time, time seems to haunt me! Time, time, somehow it mocks me!...It’s just a matter of time! You and I both know that You are God and You could get me out of here! But I’m still stuck here in the waiting room of unanswered prayer!...You and I both know You hold the answer. You and I both know You could get me out of here with just one word...You don’t seem to be in the same hurry that I’m in, oh God.  Days are turning into weeks, the weeks are turning into months and the months are turning into years!  Oh my God, it’s been a decade and I’m still here, here in the waiting room, I’m still in the waiting room of unanswered prayer!!!...Patience has never been a virtue of mine. I’ve never really liked waiting and waiting is my profession here in the waiting room!  I’m still in the waiting room of unanswered prayer!!! But You make all things beautiful! You make all things beautiful! You make all things beautiful just in time! It’s just a matter of time, time, time!" - Misty Edwards 2/27/10

Listening to prayer room archives, I just stopped as Misty sang the above.  I feel like I've been in the "waiting room" for such a long time!  This was a great reminder that God's timing is perfect and I need to be patient in the waiting!!!  God's purpose in the waiting is to draw me closer to Him, for me to know Him more and become more like Him.  But if I focus on getting out of the waiting room instead of what God is doing here, I miss the point and become discontent!  I want to wait patiently and rest in His perfect timing instead of trying to figure it out on my own!  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding!  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will keep your paths straight!!!  Proverbs 3:5-6

Snow in Texas!!!

Having the most snow we've had in our area in several years, my cousin and I grabbed our cameras and headed out for a fun afternoon of picture taking as we enjoyed the beauty of a rare winter day in Texas! 

      

Thanks Christina for walking around in the cold and snow with me today!  I had a blast!!!

Waiting

I looked back at 2009 on New Year's Eve and had to say it was a good year.  I looked ahead to 2010 with excitement as I prepared to leave for 3 1/2 months in India.  It's been about 6 weeks since I was scheduled to leave but faced the disappointment of staying.  Only 5 days after I would have left, Haiti, a country I have been to several times, was devestated by a massive earthquake.  My heart's automatic response was I wanted to be there to do something, anything, to help those that were suffering.  But I found myself left behind as others I know went to help those we love in this country.  Today, I again had to stay home while others I know headed back for a couple more weeks.  It has been a such a struggle to feel so called to the mission field and yet not be able to get there.  I trust that God has a plan and am trying to stay patient in the waiting.  I am hoping He allows me to go soon, or shows me what else He has in store.  But I will continue to press on to know Him more as I wait for Him to bring clarity!  II Peter 3:8-9 ...do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years and a thousand years is like one day. The Lord is not slow about His promise but is patient toward you...